Counting my Blessings
As my foot pressed deeper into the pedal, my pulse was climbing, and my anxiety was rising. I was once again in my car, racing against the clock, trying to squeeze too many things into too little time.
The afternoon had been a whirlwind. Feeling bad that our busy schedule had not allowed many playdates recently, I agreed to let each of my children bring a friend home for the afternoon. Between getting homework done, making dinner, feeding kids, and wrangling them back into the car so I could drop them off before my Bible study, I was already running behind.
Just as I was about to walk out the door, my husband called from the cab of a combine wondering if I could drop some food off at the field on the way. Glancing at the clock, I knew there was no way I could make it on time if I said yes, especially because the field was in the opposite direction of Bible study. Against my punctual nature, however, I tried to assure myself that being a few minutes late for Bible study was certainly a forgivable offense.
I quickly spooned some chili into a bowl, threw a few extra snacks in a bag, and ran out the door. As I drove, I fought the urge to grumble and complain about always rushing and never on time, but I was losing the fight. The negativity was winning. My grumblings were becoming verbal and spilling out for my children to hear.
And then, God showed up.
He didn’t come as a lightning bolt in the sky. He didn’t send an angel to pause the clock. (Honestly, can you think of the last time He showed up that way?) Instead, He showed Himself through the voices of my girls in the backseat, singing their little hearts out to the song that had just begun playing on the radio.
And I know that the seasons never last forever
So, God I will remember all of the reasons my heart has to be grateful
All the times You have been faithful to me.
God I’m still counting my blessings.
All that You’ve done in my life.
The more that I look in the details
The more of Your goodness I find.
Father, on this side of heaven I know that I’ll run out of time
But I will keep counting my blessings knowing I can’t count that high.
As I listened to the words, I took in the fact that His blessings truly are countless, if only we’ll take the time to start counting. Amidst the chaos and clutter of life, however, we often pass by the blessings without offering a second thought. We overlook His gifts especially in the moments when anxiety runs high and the never-ending list of to-do’s threatens to overwhelm us.
Every moment we have offers an opportunity to focus on either ourselves or on our Savior; on our mayhem or His many blessings. Some of the greatest blessings in my life sat in the backseat of the car, at that very moment, singing their little hearts out to their Savior in gratitude. And another of those great blessings sat alone in a combine, hungry and tired from harvesting all day trying to beat the approaching rainstorm. When I paused long enough to reflect on the words in the song, my mindset began to shift. I realized that peace comes only when we intentionally recognize what He has so generously given. As I began counting my blessings in that moment, my soul began to sense the peace that Jesus promised and my anxiety began to wane.
The holiday season often brings an onslaught of feelings. We expect a Hallmark movie full of magic and romance, but instead end up in an action-packed drama that turns us into the Grinch. Christmas is supposed to be a time of reflecting on the greatest blessing God ever gave us and the peace that Jesus brings to our chaotic world. But often, we end up getting lost in the time crunch and chaos of worldly thinking.
Whether it’s the hustle and bustle of the holiday season or just the shuffle of everyday life, most of us experience high anxiety at one time or another. I would encourage you to embrace your next moment of chaos as an opportunity to stop counting the minutes ticking away at the clock and begin counting the blessings piled up in your life. You probably won’t be able to count that high. And I promise, it will transform your mindset in the moment.
May the peace and joy that Jesus brought that first Christmas morning be the defining marks on your holiday this year. Santa is not watching. But your children are. Let them hear you count the blessings. Let them see the peace you have amidst the chaos. God floods our lives with blessings, but we must pause long enough to reflect on them.
In the fire with you,
Toni
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7