Stay in the Box
As summer draws near and the full swing of ball season looms on the horizon, I find myself reminiscing on the hours our children have spent in a batter’s box. Our kids have been swinging a bat since they began walking. It began with our son, who came out of the womb with a fervent passion for sports. (He skipped right over the customary first words of mama or dada and began exclaiming ‘ball’ at every spherical object he saw.)
As a toddler, Grant started swinging one of those little Franklin Sports big-barreled, cardboard-filled bats. Night after night he would beg us to play soft-toss in the basement and squeal with delight every time the foam ball made contact with the bat. Ben and I cheered him on every time, tweaking his stance or his swinging motion little by little, laughing with him as he ran the bases. Eventually, he graduated on to an aluminum bat and an authentic cork-&-rubber-filled baseball. His game moved outside to the yard where he spent hundreds of hours in a homemade batter’s box, taking pitches from anyone who was willing to toss one at him. If no one was available, he’d happily resort to pitching to himself. His imagination grew large during those early summer days spent in the yard alone, visualizing himself in the Big Leagues and hitting the ultimate grand slam.
As older siblings often do, Grant’s passion set the fun-dial in our family to ‘sports’, so naturally our girls assumed playtime always meant hitting a ball. As soon as they could stand, they, too, began swinging a bat, playing soft-toss with daddy in the basement and running the make-shift bases to the cheers of mommy.
When the day came for them to step onto a real field, they hardly missed a beat. Standing in the batter’s box was as natural to them as walking through the front door of our home. They held the confidence of a million moments standing in the box waiting for a pitch from dad or mom. When the pitches came, they would plant their feet, grit their teeth, and wait for a fast ball down the middle.
Over the years, we’ve realized that the batter’s box is not a comfortable place for all kids, though. Time after time we witness a child back out of the box when the pitch nears the plate. Chants from the sideline parents hollering, “Stay in the box!” The first base coach shouting, “Plant your feet!” The mom offering more gentle words of encouragement, “You can do this, honey.” But no amount of cheering or bribing can persuade this child to stay in the box. The next pitch comes, his feet shuffle, his shoulders hunch, and he backs out of the box. Strike three! Batter’s out!
What happened?
Many young players lack the courage to stay in the box because they have no hope of a positive outcome. They have not spent hour after hour practicing at home, taking pitches from a parent or grandparent or sibling and building confidence from the little triumphs. Or, they have been hit by a pitch and don’t want to chance getting plunked again! When a child steps out of the box, he is often concentrating on dodging the ball rather than on hitting the ball. Or, he is more focused on NOT striking out rather than on seeing the next pitch.
Once players experience the feel of the ball when it hits the sweet spot on the bat, though, and the thrill of sprinting around the bases, and the joy of crossing the plate into the ecstatic embrace of their teammates, they begin to harbor hope for the next at-bat. That hope can only come with experience. And in order to get experience, children need to spend time in the box… on and off the field.
I remember the first few times Grant struck out. He sobbed…inconsolably. He sat in the dugout with giant, crocodile tears seeping out of his big, brown eyes. No amount of encouragement would soothe his little heart. When the line-up came back around to him, we didn’t give him the option of staying in the dugout. There were times he walked out with tears in his eyes and a sob choking his throat, biting his lip and trying to hold it together for those few moments at-bat. We could have let him skip a turn. But as parents, we saw the bigger picture. We knew he needed to learn to overcome both the fear and the disappointment that come with sports… because life brings both fear and disappointment. Now when he strikes out, he grits his teeth, takes a deep breath, and trots back to the dugout with his head held high, ready to cheer on his teammates. He knows that there will be another opportunity. And in that next opportunity lies the hope of a solid connection, the hope of hitting a dinger and rounding the bases to the roar of the sideline crowd. Hope gives him the courage to overcome the fear.
As I ponder the words so often expressed by exasperated parents at baseball games, I realize we, as parents, need to take our own advice!
We often step into the game of life with little confidence that we can get a hit. We focus on not striking out rather than on seeing the next pitch. We fear that life will throw an unexpected curveball. We duck for fear of getting beaned. Ultimately, we step out of the box when life gets hard.
Is there an area of your life where you are allowing fear to run your at-bat?
Are there parts of your life where the ‘hard’ makes you step out of the box?
Raising kids fills up the calendar. Often we feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Sometimes life throws us a curveball. We might swing and miss. We might foul it off. We might even get hit by the pitch! But parents, let’s resolve to stay in the box. There may be times we need to step out, take a breath, and refocus. But then we must step back in!
Our children are watching how we play the game. Let’s show them how champions play! Here are a few tips that help me stay in the box:
Commit to a prayer and devotion time. Just as young players need time with their father (or father-figure) gaining confidence to stay in the box when the pitches come at them, we also need time with our Father gaining confidence and strength when life comes at us. Make sure you are intentional about carving out time to spend with your Father, especially when life gets busy!
Strike-outs happen, but get out of the dugout and try again. Don’t let your past failures keep you from stepping back into the game. We all make mistakes as parents, but we must forgive ourselves and step back up to the plate. Our heavenly Coach isn’t holding it against us, so we need to see our mistakes as learning opportunities and walk out ready to swing again!
Finally, remember Whose team you’re playing for! When you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, remember… you’re playing on a team that has this game in the bag! Our Star Player already hit the walk-off homerun! Let the hope of an eternal celebration give you the courage to stay in the box right now.
I pray that you choose joy and hope this summer, no matter what pitches are thrown.
In the fire with you,
Toni
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Romans 12:1-2